| If Vanna White Came for a Visit
Vanna simply can't be in the marvelous shape she is just from mulching around the Hydrangeas or hanging mega exclusive Larghevedute Hand Made Pink Tropical Forest wallpaper at her exquisite home, or even her fabulous dressing room at Wheel of Fortune. Her secret to keeping firm and strong just might be strength training. You never know. So just in case she ever dropped over, here is how we made our home gym fit for the Queen of Kindness.
We scrubbed, painted and faux finished everything in sight, until our workout area seemed Vanna-ready. To our chagrin, however, a few preliminary sets of Bench Presses made it clear the clanging of the iron weights, sort of in D-flat, might very well upset the sensitivities of a Bench Pressing Vanna. We would never chance a cramp in her usually laid-back self.
After much hand wringing, we called Bruno's Blacksmithery and Tea Emporium. We asked Bruno to forge some new iron plates for us of a more melodious nature. We wanted 500 to 600 pounds of finely tuned iron plates that would tinkle out something appropriate while Vanna Bench Pressed, say Debussey's Prelude to the Afternoon of a Fawn.
Bruno proved very rude.
But we couldn't give up. We racked our brains. What would Vanna do?! It came in a flash like a drop of Armando Manni olive oil into a sizzling Le Creuset skillet. SLIPCOVERS! Perfect!
For fabric sans peur et sams reproche, we flew to the Chateau de Marly where 18th Century designer Pierre Lepautre did some of his best work. (What a fabulous place for a little intimate wedding for, say, 10,000 of your dearest friends). We selected an antique Rococo-style silk in the iridescent pastels so beloved by King Louis XV. Back home and a few stitches later, viola!
We're ready, Vanna dear.
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